Who am I?

Who am I?  Well I wrote something years ago in my blog, but I had a moment that pushed me further to the right.  That moment was after the Aurora shooting.  When liberals went wild and started crying for the scrapping of the Second Amendment to the US Constitution.  I cannot stand these cowards!  They would honestly want to lay their hands on a document that has worked for 220+ years just because of their irrational fears?  They are puppets with their strings being pulled.  Gun violence has dropped in the USA since the 1990s, despite the fact that gun ownership has steadily been on the rise.  FBI statistics prove that more murders are committed in the USA by baseball bats than guns, but I do not hear anyone crying to ban baseball bats.  This is not a rant about firearms and Constitutional rights though; it is about who I am.  As you can tell it was Aurora that motivated me to go even further to the right.

I am basically white or Caucasian (or just a damn cracker), but it is not that simple, because I am an American.  I am half Greek from my father.  My grandfather immigrated into the USA during the 1920s.  From my mother I am 12 other races: English, Welch, Scottish, Irish, French, German, Dutch, Ukrainian, Turk, Black, Mexican and Sioux Indian.  So I am your typical American mutt.  Exact percentages are questionable, because my mother’s family tree is blocked, because she was adopted and the only thing I have to go on is the list she gave me.  I grew up in Gary Indiana and just outside Detroit (an area we called Sin City).  I am a Junior High dropout; the last grade I finished was 8^th.  My father was physically abusive to the extreme and my mother borderline insane, not very nice things to say about my parents but accurate.  I lived on the wrong side of the law as a juvenile and that is really all I will say about that.  The thing I knew best growing up was violence, it was in my home, at my school and on the streets.  At the age of 17 I packed up and moved to Orlando Florida, because of the before mentioned reason.  At 20 I was married into a premade family to a woman 10 years my senior.  She was a good person and I caused her a lot of heartache, I am sorry Darlene.  I got into a little more trouble with the law (nothing I will mention), but I was convicted of nothing.   I was divorced by 25 or so (actual date is confusing and if I told that story you would not believe me). 

I decided I was tired of being an uneducated idiot; it was stifling any career opportunities.  So I pursued a college degree.  This was a tough course to follow, not because I am not intelligent enough to achieve this dream.  Real life has a habit of interfering with long term goals.  I did not get my BA in history until 2010.  I did however graduate Magna Cum Laude.  As of right now I am almost done with my MBA and on the waiting list for a local law school. 

Politically my journey is very confusing.  As a delinquent I had no real political opinion on anything.  I was more concerned with money and drugs.  When I started to have real concern for politics, I am not very sure.  I combined my own firsthand knowledge of life with Marxist theory.  I believed a hybrid was possible between capitalism and communism that could feed off human nature for its own good.  I embraced many theories that for lack of a better word are lies.  I was however not a western liberal leftist.  I traveled the path of a Third World Revolutionary, I believed the only way to bring about change was through violent revolution and peaceful revolution was preached only by cowards.  I ended up blogging and gained a following all over the world (approximately 10,000 people at my peak).  I was a true revolutionary (I would say communist, but I did not embrace that theory completely) and believed that any who did not embrace the new system should simply be shot.  Well a typical Western style liberal became infatuated with me and it lead to a relationship.  Typical because even though she said she agreed with everything I said, still there was that John Lennon peace mentality in her beliefs.  When this ended I went into a phase of self examination and accidentally put all of my beliefs under this same microscope.  This is my point of enlightenment.  I discovered that the teachings of the left (on almost every level) are not compatible with human nature.  The only way for the philosophies of the left to succeed is if human nature is changed to suit them.  Now I hope I do not have to explain to anyone how unlikely that result truly is.  So I left the Esteban Najid (my pen name) personality behind and concentrated on finishing my degree. 

I still was not active politically, even though I did lean right.  I had given up on politics.  I saw both sides as too corrupt to care about and I just wanted to live my life.  I still voted and tried to be the best informed voter I could be.  The reason for this is I believe if you do not vote, you have no right to bitch.  Since I make a whole bunch of noise (I know, shocking right?) I felt it was my duty to vote and not be a hypocrite.  See this is my biggest pet peeve, I cannot stand hypocrites!  I have always believed that you should practice what you preach or shut up.  I am not talking about falling short from being perfect, no one is perfect.  You must make the best effort that is possible to follow through with the words you say.  Then the Aurora shooting happened and liberals went wild in their attacks on the Second Amendment to the US Constitution.  I am sorry, but the Second Amendment is my main issue.  Without it the people are nothing more than serfs.  You cannot fight back against anything or defend yourself in any way if you do not have the right to bear arms.  Once the liberals started their attacks on the Constitution I drifted farther and farther to the right, making more and more noise along the way.  I have seen how they show their true colors of yellow PC cowardice.  I have seen how the media embraces the news stories of the left while ignoring shocking stories that would gain them good ratings (Kermit Gosnell and Benghazi for instance).  They blow out of proportion every single shooting and if you look at the people doing and approving these stories they hate gun rights anyways.  The left has not learned what I did, that their policies are not compatible with human nature.  Do they think they can change human nature by the fruits of their policies? These fruits are creating an underclass with no hope of achieving anything, but they view prosperity 10 miles away and on the television.  This same underclass is crime ridden, because they want money for the finer things (with no other way to get it) or drugs to escape their dismal future.  This is still a risk versus reward mentality, which is one of the most basic principles of capitalism. 

So now I sit on the right side of the political fence.  I am not a very good conservative, but since I trust the US Constitution I would make a horrible liberal.  I also do not believe in the 1960s mentality of protest and revolution.  I would make the streets run red with blood before I would let a dirty hippy rewrite the Constitution.  I am still in a process of learning and growth, which I am fine with.  As Bruce Lee said, “the day I quit learning, is the day you can put the final nail in my coffin.”  He also said, “I am not a master, I am a student master, because I am always learning.”  I am not the most intelligent person, but I have gained wisdom by walking a very hard path.  I would not trade any of my past experiences for the world.  The path I have traveled has led me to the point I am at today.   I know I am not perfect, but I am comfortable with the person I have become.  I can only strive to improve who I am on a daily basis.

I probably shared too much information in some ways and not enough in others, but my life is so full of contradictions and confusion I could not know where to begin or end.  So this is my overview I provide to the curious, to those who wonder how I got to where I am today.

Hating liberals, with a passion

Why I hate liberals!  I do have a deep seated hate of them and this hate many people cannot understand.  You have heard politicians say that they always remember that no matter how much they disagree with the other party they know that person loves the USA as much as they do.  Well I say that person does not love the USA or the human race as much as others do.  I say liberals are a leech not just on the USA but on the whole human race.  I loathe them, I despise them!  Now I will try to explain why.

First off it is not fair to Communist or Socialist in the developing world to compare Western liberals to them.  WTF am I talking about?  Am I endorsing communism or socialism? No, I am not.  Allow me to explain...  Throughout the Twentieth Century these Socialist and Communist rebels have put their lives on the line for what they believe in.  They have killed and been killed fighting for their cause.  I can respect this, even when I disagree with the cause.  The difference is that in the West people have an easy life and because of this they are not willing to make that final commitment.  Oh they may throw a brick through a window, protest, even riot; but they are not willing to make the final commitment of taking a life.  They may even be willing to lay down their own life.  This is not down for the greater cause or to inflame the masses to rise up.  No, this is done for their own ego.  They want to be a martyr like Gandhi or Lennon (yeah, disgusting, but they think Lennon is a martyr), so it is for their own ego that they lay down their lives, I the vain hope of being immortalized.  This shows a complete and utter lack of having anything that resembles a spine.

Before you think I advocate violence and war let me explain something to you.  No matter where you are raised in this modern world you have a certain amount of morals instilled into you.  This makes the taking of a human life a very traumatic experience.  Now to justify this and protect ones psyche you must justify it to yourself.  The most common way is that you are fighting for a greater good, God and country.  Still yet another way is to dehumanize the enemy.  You are not killing another human being; you are killing someone who is somehow less than human.  When you cannot justify it to yourself the likelihood of it messing with you is greater.  It also does not matter if you can justify it or not.  Because for every person you kill; you lose party of your humanity, becoming less human in the process.  Therefore there is no glory in violence or the taking of another human life.  Doubt my words?  Research the Einsatzgruppen units that the Nazis used during World War Two.  These units ran around the USSR killing enemies of the Reich, up close and personal.  They also suffered from a very high suicide rate, plus an even higher rate of alcoholism.  This despite the idea being instilled in them that they were heroes of the Reich, for their service.  So yes there is no glory in the taking of human life.

So the liberals in the West are soft and cowards.  They are not willing to put their humanity at risk for what they believe in.  Instead they will piss and moan, cry and complain; attempt to garner support until they can get their way.  Then once they have their way, they still will not enforce these efforts on their own.  They expect the establishment to enforce the rules they cried for.  Let me give you an example, gun control and the 2^nd Amendment.  You have a group of cowards called the Brady Campaign who want to take away my guns (and your guns as well).  Now if these cowards got their way; who is going to come knocking on my door to take away my guns?  Will they be involved?  Oh hell no, they will just expect the police to enforce their mandate.  Why?  Well I can guarantee you that if anyone wants to violate my Constitutional rights by coming to my door to take away my guns, it will be a gun fight!  I am sure they can justify this action in any number of ways, but I have my own theory.  They are cowards and elitists!  They are the best of the best (in their own minds) and it is their duty to lead us, despite our own ignorance.  They are also above getting their hands dirty, so they delegate that job to their lesser.  

Even when a liberal is willing to get their hands dirty they have irrational expectations.  They would expect a fight with rules and honor.  I am sorry but rules and honor is for sports and fools.  You can call me an animal and maybe I am.  I am a product of the environments I grew up in (Gary IN and Detroit MI), which are examples of the liberal dream.  You never fight a fair fight, because you can lose a fair fight.  There is no honor in beating to a bloody pulp.  There is also no honor in getting hit a single time, all for the ego of some fool.  When you throw down, you go all out; or just stay the fuck home!  There is no honor on the streets, only survivors.  

In short, liberals are all talk and not willing to back up what they say with their own actions.  They are not willing to put their humanity at risk for their convictions.  This weakness in them is rewarded with my utter contempt for them and all they think they stand for.  This does not even touch the fact that the liberal dream has been tried in society and proved to be a complete failure, or the fact that they deny this and only want to throw more money at the problem, believing that somehow this will make things right.  

As a bonus I will tell you exactly how much I hate them, it borders on sadism.  If I had my way I would get 1984 on their asses.  I would sit in Room 101 and wait for them, reading their file so I would know best how to completely destroy them.  Once they have been tormented, tortured and utterly destroyed.  Then I would build them back up so they can again function in society, only for them to be an outcast.  Once they are completely broken down and accept and love all that they claimed to have stood against, then and only then would their lives come to an end.  This is the complete and utter victory against the liberal.  Yes I am willing to put my humanity at risk for this and if you are a believer in a higher power, my so called “soul” at risk as well.  They think life is supposed to be joy and pleasure?  Life is a struggle, a fight against the elements.  Well my joy and pleasure would be from their pain, their suffering, breaking them emotionally and then when they completely submit; bringing about their end.

Realistically this will never happen, I know this.  They will continue to piss and moan, occasionally getting their way.  But you see Americans are dreamers; it is our ability to dream and make these dreams come true which has made us such a great country.  We do not believe that it is impossible to achieve our dreams.  So if any of the powers that be need someone to run Room 101, give me a call.